Friday, 31 January 2014

The onion gods are nearly here!

Do I really have to tell you what we've been doing this week? Every bloody week I do this, and what thanks do I get? Does one single person read this and think "What a wonderful gift to the world this is, I must show my thanks by sending them a little present, such as a cabbage or half a million pounds"? No, they don't.

And yet here I am, telling you out of the goodness of my heart about the new sketch we released this week, which looks like this:

And then, undeterred by the total lack of gratitude you've shown for that, nevertheless also telling you about the new episode of Forgive Me Father, which really is getting terribly exciting now, and has got a murder in it. So you'll be wanting to watch that.

And then... well actually that's it. We didn't even release a book reading to plug Onion Gods, which is coming out on Wednesday. I KNOW! IT'S EXCITING! Instead, we linked to a radio play of the title story which some clever people made.

That's it. Go and do something else now.

Friday, 24 January 2014

The onion gods are still coming!

There can be few things in life more exciting than the release of a new Customer Service sketch. Jumping out of a helicopter strapped to a shark comes close, and doing that thing where you prop one foot on the wheel arch of a supermarket trolley and use the other foot to propel you down the aisle is basically the most exciting thing in the world, but a new Customer Service sketch is a definite second. So prepare to be excited, because there's a new Customer Service sketch!

There's also a new episode of Forgive Me Father, which is almost as exciting but probably less surprising given that there's one every week. But it might be the most exciting one so far. What do YOU think?

Of course to make an informed opinion, or to really understand what's going on at all, you should watch all the other episodes first. Which you can do by clicking on the link at the top of this very page! No, not that far up. That's the Clever Dicks logo. Down a bit. Where it says Forgive Me Father. No, now you're on the link to our books. Right a bit. That's it. Now click on that and spend the next two and a half hours watching all 17 episodes. I'm certain that you haven't got anything better to do.

Meanwhile, there's only a week and a bit until the release of our book Onion Gods! Here's an extract from one of the stories in it.

Friday, 17 January 2014

The onion gods are coming!

I bet you think we couldn't possibly have any news this week that's more exciting than we had last week. Well, you're wrong! I bet you can't even remember what last week's news was. You're useless.

This week's news is that we're releasing a book! Not that that should be too surprising because we've already got three books out there. Well, this is another one.

That's pretty much all the information you need on that there picture. So I don't really need to tell you anything else about it. Just, you know, get it. On the 5th of February. Because that's when it comes out. Oh and just for you, here's a free story out of it.

Elsewhere in the news we released our shortest sketch yet

and another episode of Forgive Me Father.

That should be enough to keep you busy for now.

Thursday, 9 January 2014

Customer Service Live!

Another week closer to the heat death of the universe means another week of exciting releases from Clever Dicks, but not only have the usual things been happening - which I'll get to in a minute - but there are two additional exciting things to tell you about, both of which are so wonderful you'll probably want to throw yourself off a tall building at the realisation that your life will never be as exciting as ours!

The first exciting thing is that the Clever Dicks did our first ever live performance! On Wednesday night, Brenda and Marge of Customer Service fame stood in front of, oh, at least twenty people - maybe even as many as thirty! - and talked a load of old rubbish. I think it's safe to say that it was a triumph, with everyone laughing much more than we were expecting, and in all the right places. In the wake of this triumph you can expect us to get carried away and plan some sort of ridiculously ambitious live show which goes catastrophically wrong and destroys Norway or something. Which will be a shame. I like Norway.

The second exciting thing is that our thrilling drama serial Forgive Me Father now has its own website! Here it is. But in case you can't be bothered to click on that, you can watch the new episode without even leaving this page.

And of course we also released another wonderful sketch. If you're the sort of person who gets offended by very rude jokes and religious mockery, then quite frankly you shouldn't be watching our sketches to begin with, so you've only got yourself to blame.

Friday, 3 January 2014

Pigs in blankets

Right well let's have none of that "Happy new year!" nonsense, I'm sure you've had quite enough of that already. But as it happens you probably will have a brilliant year, thanks to all the wonderful things we've got lined up for you. We have lots more sketches and series and short films and probably some competitions and, who knows, maybe even one or two book launches for when you can neither access the internet nor live without some Clever Dicks goodness.

But before we get started on all those things we'd better do a quick catch up on what you might have missed over Christmas if you were too busy stuffing yourself with pigs in blankets.

There was the Customer Service Christmas special, which now seems rather out of season but you should watch it anyway, because it's good.

And then there's our first post-Christmas sketch, which is another historical one that's completely accurate and educational.

Which only leaves Forgive Me Father, which unlike our outpouring of sketches didn't take a break over Christmas, so there are THREE WHOLE NEW EPISODES since last we banged on about it on the blog. They also happen to be the three episodes in which there's a great big twist that turns the story around and sends it off in a completely different direction, so you really don't want to miss them. I'll just link to the playlist.